Practicing self-love

Do you love yourself? What is your immediate reaction when you hear this question being asked? Do you immediately think of faults within your physical body, improvements you would like made
e.g. ‘well I’d love myself more if I was thinner etc’? As an energy healer I’m always amazed at how such a simple question can completely throw people, yet it is such an important part of self-healing. People often confuse loving one’s self with being full of one ’s self. It can often be assumed that you are big headed or arrogant if you declare that you do love yourself. But why is it so difficult to give yourself permission for self love?

 For me the journey to loving myself has been a long one.  It has taken me years of self work and healing to be able to say that at this point in my life I do love myself. While having a spiritual conversation with a colleague recently, the topic of self love came up. My colleague immediately started picking out perceived faults within his own physical self. I declared to him that I’m 40 (plus) and fabulous and he started roaring laughing declaring me delusional.  I find this reaction amusing as he immediately assumed that I must perceive myself as a supermodel!

So what do I mean when I talk about self-love? In my opinion self-love is loving every single aspect of yourself good and bad. We live in a world of duality and every single person has duality within them. Self love in my opinion, is about being compassionate with yourself and loving not only the light aspects within yourself but acknowledging and loving the darker emotions too. As a child I was extremely shy and preferred the company of my animals to other children. I was extremely sensitive and had no self-confidence what so ever.  This lack of confidence spilled over into my teenage years and I suffered a lot from low self-esteem.  I had a lot of anxiety around my home life and I hated never having any control over my life. To compound the issue I had skin problems as a teenager and would have spent a long time looking in the mirror despising myself.  As I mentioned earlier my journey to getting to where I am now has been a long one. To get here I have had to heal a lot of my own inner child. I have had to tell her through meditation that she’ll be okay and love and hug her.

When we act in ways that expand self-love we begin to accept and become aware of our weaknesses and strengths and we can begin to lead a more fulfilled life. I know I’m not a super model, but now when I look at my round tummy I’m grateful that I was able to carry my three children. I see bags under my eyes and grey hair sprouting on top my head but I’m grateful that I’m healthy and well and that I’m living a fulfilling life as a mother and as a healer/teacher. I can tell You right now that you are Fabulous and Amazing! Look at all you have come through in your life and you are still here shining your light. Why not give yourself a break and admit that you have come through so much in your life and you are amazing for doing so, whatever your size or age. Open up your heart chakra and let that love shine bright not only for others but for yourself too. Start being kind to yourself as well as to others and learn to appreciate your life. Making mistakes is all a part of life so accept them, embrace them and learn from them and don’t scold yourself for making them as they are unavoidable part of this journey.

Here are some tips on how to learn some self compassion and self love:

• Watch and learn to control the thoughts in your head. The ego will often tell you that you aren’t good enough, aren’t pretty or clever enough. Learn to recognise when the ego is at work and you will soon learn to control it.
• Positive affirmations – affirmations are a very useful tool to change patterns of behaviour within our subconscious mind. A lot of these patterns are formed within the first 7 years of a child’s development.  Using affirmations every day will help us to change these deep seated patterns. Saying affirmations such as  ‘I am beautiful and intelligent’ regularly will help you even if you  feel silly saying them at first.
• Become mindful – become aware of your emotions and what triggers them.  Get to know what you think, feel and want.
• Practice good self-care – put your own needs first when you can. Go for your walk, do that course you wanted to do, spend time alone in nature to think.
• Establish clear boundaries – learn to say no if you need to. You can’t please everyone all the time and trying will just wear you out. Learning to say no will actually help others to respect you along with helping you to replenish your own energy while establishing boundaries.
• Forgiveness – Do you berate yourself for actions of the past? Let them go! Forgiving yourself is all part of self-compassion. By setting the intention of forgiveness you can forgive yourself and others. This is a very freeing worthwhile exercise.

Wishing you all a day of self-love and self care and I hope you enjoyed this article.
Sinead
www.sineadwhite.com